My Darlin' A Jasper Hale Story
by WideEyedWanderer
Summary: "I love you darlin'. I'll return. I promise." He pulled away and mounted his horse. He couldnt turn around. He wouldn't. For if he did he knew his heart would break and he wouldn't leave. With every step he took towards the war, his heart bled. He had a feeling this would be the last time he ever saw her. Jasper/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Author note: I know I should be finishing my other stories but this story for some reason won't get the hell out of my head and I pretty much wrote all this in a matter of minutes so it was desperate to get out.  
>Let me know what you think as I think this will be a little different to my others.<br>Review  
>Wanderer xo<strong>

"_Please don't go." She wept clinging to his shirt. He sighed and held her closer to his chest.  
>"I have to go. You know that." He mumbled breathing her in. she smelt like wild flowers and cinnamon. It always calmed him down. She pulled away and looked up at him with those big blue eyes that made his heart stop.<br>"But you don't! There are plenty of other men out there who can fight! You can stay here with me like you promised." She sniffed as more tears fell down her soft red cheeks. He sighed and stepped away from her embrace.  
>"I have to fight. I am a strong healthy man. I can't just sit around waiting for the war to hit here." He turned his back on her and ran his fingers through his hair. Why couldn't she understand that he needed to fight? Needed to feel useful? Needed to do something to protect her and make sure the fight didn't come anywhere near here.<br>"You promised you would never leave me." She whispered softly. He turned around and his heart broke. The soft light of the setting sun fell across her, basking her in a warm honey tone. Her head was bowed and she was wringing her hands. He took the few steps towards her and grabbed her hands.  
>"No matter where I go or what I do, I will never truly leave you." He said raising her head with his finger. Her blue eyes, shimmering with unshed tears, gazed into his, blazing his very soul. The feelings she gave him were indescribable. She gave him strength and courage and made him like ten foot tall and bullet proof. He would do anything and everything to protect her like he had been doing since he first met her fifteen years ago. They were just children then, young and innocent without a care in the world. They rode horses, discovered the forests that surrounded their parent's properties, laughed, ran and caused mischief with the purest intentions. He teased her and pushed her in the mud more than once and in return instead of dobbing him in like those other snotty girls down the road; she threw mud back at him and tackled him into the hay. She was his best friend and as they grew older and he discovered girls weren't just fun for throwing mud at and teasing, he fell for her. She grew from a clumsy, freckled, and bushy haired stork girl into a beautiful, elegant southern belle. His daddy always told him when he found that one woman that made his breath hitch, his hands sweat and the words choke in his throat to grab her, hold her and never let her go. And two years ago he did just that. He took her to the top of the cliff that over looked their neighbouring lands and kissed her, claiming her as his own. The feeling of her lips as they moulded into his was unlike anything he had ever felt. It was like kissing an angel with everything pure blinding them and binding them together. He honestly thought his heart was about to explode. He didn't want it to end but then his mamma's voice echoed through his head '<em>_**never kiss a girl unless she allows it.**__ He had pulled away from her and shook his head realising what he had done. Oh don't let his ruin anything. He thought praying to God she didn't start ignoring him. He didn't know what he would do without her, friendship or lover.  
>"Forgive me." He had said breathless, running his fingers through his hair. "I…I have been wanting to do that so long and you were just standing there and I couldn't help…" she had cut him off with a dainty finger on his lips.<br>"Don't you dare apologise mister." She removed her finger and wrapped her arms around his neck, standing on tip toes to do so. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, relishing in her scent and warmth.  
>"So you're not mad at me?" He mumbled. She giggled.<br>"I'd be mad if that was a once off." She had replied. He had smiled and swung her around like a mad man. But that was then, in simpler times. This was now. The threat of the war was looming closer and closer to their homes and God damn him if he was going to sit by and let it happen while his friends and family were out there dying.  
>"Kiss me." Her soft voice brought him back to the present. He smiled and lent forward to capture her lips. They were still soft, still hypnotising as they were that first time years ago. He pulled away after a few minutes and rested his forehead against hers. She wrapped her slim arms around his neck as he wrapped his around her waist.<br>"Go if you must, but promise me one thing?" she whispered.  
>"Anything." He whispered against her lips.<br>"Promise me you will return to me?"  
>"I'll do you one better." He replied. "When I return I'll marry you." She pulled away and stared at him in shock.<br>"What did you say?" She asked.  
>"I love you darlin' always have and always will. I've been trying o find the right moment and I guess this is as good as it will get. I've asked your daddy and he gave us his blessin'. Wait for me and when I return I'll make you mine all official like." He went down on one knee and pulled out a small silver ring centred by a small yet reasonable diamond. Those big blue eyes filled with tears and she nodded. He whopped and jumped up, slipping the ring on her finger before pulling her into a hug and spinning her around. She pulled away as he put her down and stared deep into his eyes.<br>"I can't believe we're engaged. It's so beautiful." She said stroking his cheek and admiring the ring at the same time.  
>"It was my great Aunt Millie's. She told me before she died that I was to only give it to the one woman who could put up and love me for me. Sadly you're the only one left." He chuckled as she slapped his arm.<br>"Be nice or I'll change my mind." She threatened with a smile.  
>"You wouldn't do that to me. You love me too much." He said hugging her tightly to his body. He was to leave tomorrow to enter the war and do his part. For now until then all he wanted to do was hold his girlfriend…no his fiancé. He smiled widely at that thought. Fiancé. She was his fiancée…his wife to be…his soul mate…all his.<br>"Sadly I do love you." She buried her face against his chest. "So help you God if you don't return to me I'll hunt you down myself and drag you back." He chuckled, knowing well she would.  
>"I'll come back. I meant it darlin' I love you." He lifted her head to look into her eyes.<br>"I leave tomorrow morning." She gasped and tears started to well again. "Stay with me tonight. Let me hold you and show you my love." She nodded and stroked his cheek.  
>"I'll stay. Forever."<br>it was the best goodbye he could have asked for. They gave each other everything that night and afterwards held each other like there was no tomorrow and in a way there wasn't, not in their love filled sate anyway. He listened to weddings ideas and her plans for the future and in return she listened to his fears and reassured him. He left her briefly near dawn to put on his uniform and say goodbye to his family. He returned just as the sun rose to find her up and standing with her back to him. He snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She sighed and lent back into him.  
>"What are you thinking of pretty lady?" he asked kissing her neck.<br>"I'm thinking of whether or not to wear white or not as our wedding considering last night." She replied turning in his arms. He knew from the look on her face that that wasn't the only thing on her mind but choose not to say anything.  
>"I don't think anyone has to know about that. It can be our little secret." He kissed her softly and she nodded<br>"Our secret." She lent up and captured his lips for a few minutes before a loud horn rang out. He sighed and pulled away. She swallowed loudly and licked her lips, unshed tears filling her eyes again. It broke his heart to be the reason for all her tears but it was something he had to do.  
>"Make sure you have everything and that you eat properly. I know the army food will probably taste like Katherine's cooking but you must eat. Keep your boots clean so they don't fall apart and don't start fights with other soldiers. I know you always think you are right but don't start anything. Save it for the battlefield…" She rambled as she brushed invisible dust off of his uniform. He smiled and hushed her with a soft kiss.<br>"I'll be back before you know it." He whispered against her lips. "You won't even have time to miss me."  
>"I'll only miss when I'm breathing." She whispered back capturing his lips. A second horn sounded a few minutes later and they pulled apart.<br>"You're duty is calling." She smiled softly. He sighed and grabbed her hand. He didn't let go until they reached the meeting place there was only four other men waiting with a soldier. The others had already gone. To the war or into hiding, depending on the man. Both their families were waiting for them. He let her go as he hugged everyone and received their blessings and congratulations on finally asking her to marry him. He turned and found her standing near his horse. He strolled and hugged her.  
>"I'll miss you." He mumbled into her hair.<br>"As I will miss you. But like you said, you'll be home soon. The break might be nice considering I'm stuck with you forever." She nuzzled against his collarbone. He chuckled.  
>"You wouldn't have it any other way." He said pulling away as the other men mounted their horses around them. She reached up and removed her cross from around her neck. It was a beautifully crafted piece of silver with her initials carved into the back. It was attached to a long piece of black silk those held it against. She pressed it into his hands.<br>"Hopefully this will protect you or at the very least know I'm waiting here for you. I love you. Hurry home." He smashed his lips against hers and tried to relay his feelings in that one kiss.  
>"I love you darlin'. I'll see you soon." He pulled away and mounted his horse. He turned around and with a wave he joined the other enlistees. He didn't turn around. He couldn't. He couldn't bare the sight of her tears again and he couldn't let her see his. With every step he took towards the war, his heart bled a little more. He couldn't help but feel as if this was the last time he'd see her. <em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Yep. I'm updating. I kind of had a little bit of inspiration for this chapter. I have actually written the entire last half of this story. I am just having trouble finding and writing how to lead up to the action and the actual plot so bare with me?  
><em>_**Also there are a few notes that I need to share with you before you continue:**_

_The characters are a little OOC but I need them to be to fit this story. _

_This story is set after the Twilights books and completely ignores the last book pretty much. _

_Bella is still human. _

_She has graduated and everything. _

_There is obviously no Renesmee and the La Push pack never split. _

_Jasper and Alice are not together but every other couple are the same. _

_Vampires do remember all of their human lives. Again this needs to happen in order for the story to work obviously. _

_Bella and Edward are married. _

_Jasper did enlist at 18 not 16 and became a vampire and Major at 20. _

_The Voultari did attack and everyone fought due to the fact that Bella was still human (not because of Renesmee and there was no massive vampire gathering) and they were given six months to change her. _

_The plan is that Edward will change Bella into a vampire on New Year's Day...it is now the 15__th__ of December. _

_Charlie lives in New York and is the head of Police up there. He has no idea about the super natural._

_Jake and Bella are still friends and the wolves tolerate the Cullen's. _

_Jasper is close to his friend from the old days Peter and Charlotte and occasionally goes and stays with them in Texas. They are like a second family to Jasper. _

_The turf wars of the South never ended...it just went into hiding from humans._

_Maria never died. Jasper and Peter tried to kill her but she attacked them and ran. She fell off the face of the earth for fifty years so they believed her to be gone for good. _

_Let me know what you think._

_X_

"Really Alice? More shoes? You have a million pairs, can't we just go now?" I rolled my eyes and lent against the railing. We had been shopping for over five hours trying to get Bella a whole new wardrobe. Edward wanted to go to protect Bella from Alice's over spending and craziness and I got dragged here because the damn pixie battered her eyelashes at me and begged. Yeah, I'm a sucker for the puppy dog eyes. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I was bored and annoyed. There were a lot of people here and with all their emotions running wild with the last minute Christmas shopping to do; I was being put through the ringer. That and I hate this time of year.  
>"You can never have too many shoes Jazz and besides, we need to get some for Bella to match the new outfits we brought." The pixie smiled. I rolled my eyes again. It was a habit I seemed to have picked up from spending too much time around humans.<br>"Oh no Alice really...this is more than enough. I probably won't ever wear all this..." Bella stopped when Alice spun around.  
>"Bella, you are family and you will accept my presents and you will wear each and every one of these clothes and shoes. You agreed to let me do this for you. Don't you like it?" Alice said pouting. Oh dear Lord. I heard a sigh next to me and saw Edward leaning up against the railing as well. He put down the fifteen bags he had and ran a hand through his messy hair. I noticed a few girls around him spike with lust and chuckled. He turned and looked at me in question. I showed him the image of what I saw and felt in my mind and he cringed. He hated the attention.<br>"So dear brother, how are you holding up?" I asked pulling a toothpick from my pocket and placing it in my mouth. It was a habit I had clung onto from my human life. And it helped me calm down a bit.  
>"I don't know why Bella agreed to this." He sighed again before turning to me as we watched the girls go into the shoe shop across from us. Alice obviously having won the mini argument. It was large and I gathered they would be in there for a while.<br>"The question is how you are holding up?" he turned the question over to me. I shrugged.  
>"Everyone is worried about money and stressed over presents and annoyed at everyone else. It's great fun." I replied sarcastically. Edward frowned at me. I knew he wasn't talking about shopping but more so this time of year. I had always hated it.<br>"I'm fine." I said. The family was pretty much stepping on egg shells around me as it was. It wasn't their fault. I knew I became a grouch and tucked myself away at this time of year. I had done it ever since I found the Cullen's. Actually more so ever since I left Maria's clutches. It was from a human memory I could never shake and this time of year seemed to bring it out the most.

_I shook my hair and stomped my boots at the door. I knew if I tracked snow into the house, mamma would kill me. I put down the arm full of logs I had and began brushing off the snow from my jacket. It was three days til Christmas and mama always cooked a feast days before so everything would be perfect on Christmas day.  
>"She sure has us trained well don't she son?" I turned and grinned up at my father. He was six foot tall and built like a bear with wavy golden hair I had inherited and soft blue eyes. The years had been kind to my Pa. There was a few laughter lines around his eyes and mouth but he still didn't look a day over thirty and he was coming up to his fortieth birthday next month.<br>"Well wouldn't wanna upset her. After all, it smells like she's been cooking up a storm." I breathed deeply and could smell the rich aromas of my mamma's cooking coming from the door. Pa chuckled.  
>"From the sounds of things, she isn't alone." It was true, we could hear laughter and the soft sounds of blues coming through. My stomach knotted. Would she be there? I couldn't help wonder. My Pa must have picked up on the excitement on my face as he chuckled again.<br>"I have a feeling Miss Emalia might be here too." He said trying not to sound as smug as her brushed off his coat.  
>I blushed. I may have been sixteen and thought of myself as a man, but my Pa still made me blush like a kid.<br>"Come on son." He said laughing. "Let's this wood to the fire and you can see your girl."  
>"My girl?" I asked with a grin lifting up the pile I had dropped to shake off the snow.<br>"Well maybe not all official like but once you gather that Whitlock courage she will be. Just make sure you treat her right son." He nodded all serious.  
>"I am a gentleman Pa. I wouldn't hurt her. And I give ya my word, come Christmas she'll be ma girl." I nodded once and he clapped me on the shoulder with his free hand.<br>"I have faith she will be son. Just treat her right and honest." I grinned at Pa's acceptance. Between my mama and Pa as well as Emalia's Ma, I didn't think we had a choice not to be together. Not that they would force us. They weren't like that, not like those rich folk up town who arranged their children's marriages and what not, not like those uptown. Both Emalia and my parents found love the old fashioned way and believed that their children should have the same honours. But I guess we were more obvious in our affections than I thought. Damn, here I was thinking I was subtle.  
>"Is that my boy's home?" I heard my mammas voice before I saw her come around the corner from the kitchen, My Mamma was one of the prettiest ladies I had ever seen. She had a rich auburn hair with a few streaks of grey that she claims came from when I was little, seeing as I was a surprise and 'one hell of a little devil'. She was a small build and I already was taller than her. But she was the kindest sweetest lady I would ever know. Always willing to help out anyone who needed it. Her green eye were crinkled at the corners and her cheeks rosy. She had a small smudge of flour on her cheek as well as on her apron.<br>"Yes darlin' your men are home from the snow battle." My Pa said sweeping her up in a massive hug. My Pa towered of my Mamma's five foot frame but they matched perfectly in my eyes. I could only hope for a perfect marriage like theirs. Mamma laughed and swatted his arm after he had put her down.  
>"Come in and warm up near the fire. We were making sugar cookies." She turned and went back to the kitchen.<br>"We?" I asked before she turned the corner completely. She turned back around and grinned.  
>"Why yes. Emily, Kathrine and Emalia are here." She winked and went into the kitchen. I rubbed the back of my neck suddenly feeling awkward. Katherine was Emalia's older sister who would always teased Emalia and I when we were children. She went away to study to be a nurse a few months back but looked like she was back for the holidays. Emily was Emalia's mum and my Godmother. I loved her like a second mum and she looked after me when I was little and my folks were working in the fields. I was a little embarrassed to see her knowing that my affections for her youngest daughter weren't as secret as I hoped.<br>"Come on son. Those sugar cookies aren't going to eat themselves. And I'm betting a pretty little lady is dyin' to see ya." He all but pushed me into the kitchen with a laugh. I skidded to a halt in the kitchen as the two woman turned and stared at me. I smiled.  
>"Hello ladies." I said softly. They smiled and Emily rushed forward.<br>"Oh Jasper! It's been too long!" she said hugging me. Emily was always the same height as my Ma with blue eyes and a kind smile. She also had the flare for dramatics.  
>"Aunty Em, it's only been four days." I laughed giving the lady a hug back, making sure the wood didn't get in the way. She smelt like sugar and spice.<br>"Yes well it is too long. You look too skinny. No matter." She turned back to where my mother was peeling apples for what I was guessing as the filling for Aunty Em's famous apple pie. "By the time were through with you, we'll have to roll you out the door." They laughed. I wanted to ask where Katherine and Emalia were but my unasked question was answered by the giggles coming from the lounge area.  
>"The girls are in there." My mother said. I turned back and blushed down her knowing smile.<br>"They are starting to decorate the tree. We wanted to wait til you were home but you know how those girls are. Why don't you go help them Jasper? Miles, can you put the wood next to the fire place please?" my mother was a sneaky woman.  
>"Of course darlin'. Come on son." We walked out of our small kitchen and into the lounge area. The warmth of the room filled me deep to my bones. And I didn't think it had much to do with simmering fire. Katherine was holding Pa's small ladder but the sight that warmed my soul was the beautiful angel standing on the ladder adding small decorations to the large pine tree my Pa and I had cut down last week. She was laughing at something Katherine had said and with the fire glowing behind her, illuminating her long dark hair, she looked like something from heaven. Her wide blue eyes were shining and her long hair was escaping from the bun she had it in. The cream house dress she wore clung to her body and swayed around her ankles.<br>"Starting the tree without us?" my Pa boomed next to me, pulling me out of my thoughts. Both girls gasped loudly and Emalia wobbled on the ladder. I dropped the wood in my arms and ran over to the tree just in time to catch her as she fell with a small squeal. I grunted as I caught her and smiled as she looked up at me.  
>"Nice of you to drop on in Miss" I grinned as she rolled her eyes. My girl wasn't one of those shy timid things you see in the cities. She was a spitfire and never hesitated to say what was on her mind. It was one of the many things that drew me to her. I couldn't help but breathe her in. She always smelt of wildflowers and cinnamon. It was addictive.<br>"Thank Goodness you caught her!" Katherine said. "It would have been quite a mess otherwise." I didn't look away from Emalia who was smiling at me.  
>"You can put me down now Jazz. I am perfectly alright." She whispered softly.<br>The sound of my nick name on her lips made my insides tighten.  
>"I rather like holdin' you if it's alright with you Lia." I whispered back she smiled softly at the use of her childhood nickname. I tried calling her Emmy, but it got to confusing with Aunty Em so I went with Lia and it stuck. Not just between us but with both families.<br>"If we didn't have everybody gawkin' at us, I wouldn't mind at all." She said tilting her head to the left. I looked over and saw the family was staring at us. Pa was grinning widely while both Mamma and Aunty Em had their hands clasped together and were sighing softly. Katherine was smirking knowingly. I blushed at that. Before Katherine left for the city she had caught Emalia and I behind the stables. We weren't doing nothing of course but she seemed to think we were. The teasin' we got form it was rather embarrassing. I slowly and unwillingly let go of Emalia, keeping hold of her tiny waist til her feet her on the ground. Her hand trailed down my neck softly and sent shivers down my spine. Lord knew this girl had a hold on me unlike anyone else. The good Lord also knew that I would do everything and anything I can to make sure she was mine. I smiled down at her as she leant against my shoulder laughing at something no doubt embarrassing her mum said. Yep, this one was mine. _


	3. Chapter 3

"Jasper?!" a loud voice entered my thoughts. I shook my head and pulled myself out of my memories. Alice was standing there with a look of concern on her face.  
>"Everything ok?" I looked around and noticed Edward grimacing and Bella nibbling on her lip. I shook my head again.<br>"Yes Pixie I am okay. Just lost in my thoughts." I ruffled her hair with a grin. She frowned but accepted it. They all did. i was good at hiding my own feelings. She turned back to Bella.  
>"Okay we need makeup and hair products next." Alice grinned widely. Bella shot a look to Edward who stifled a laugh. I did too. You just can't help it with Bella. The look on her face right now resembled that of a child being told there was no ice cream left.<br>"Alice, I think..."  
>"No Edward. Bella promised me I could do this for her. Anything and everything, that's what she said so I am merely going along with the agreement." Alice grinned wickedly. Edward sighed and turned to Bella.<br>"There ain't anything we can do when she get's like this Bella." I piped up. Bella looked at me pleading but shook my head with a grin. "My advice, next time you say yes to Alice make sure you be very clear on what you want to agree to." I winked and heard her groan.  
>"Fine, but then that's it! I am tired and hungry and want to go home." Bella gave in. Alice smiled and nodded. No one won against Alice.<br>"Deal. Let's go." She all but threw the three bags of shoes at me and hurriedly dragged Bella down towards another shop. I froze. That scent. I breathed in deeply. Where had I smelt that before? Edward grabbed my arm but I ignored him and shook it off. That scent. I knew it from somewhere. I turned sharply to my left and saw a swish of long dark hair turn around the corner. Could it be? I ran after it, ignoring Edwards's calls. I heard her giggle and I turned around another corner. I could smell her scent everywhere. It smelt sweeter than usual and mixed with something but it was her. I knew it was! I grinned. She wanted to play chase and hide did she? Just like when we were kids. _Fine by my darlin' you know I always win this game._ I thought as I turned the final corner and... nothing. I stopped suddenly and looked around. There was no swaying dark hair that was partially held up by clips, no scent of wild flowers... nothing. I shook my head and ran my hands through my hair. What the hell? What was going on?  
>"Jasper!" I spun around and saw Edward running towards me at human pace, a look of mild panic on his face. I frowned.<br>"We need to go." He said gripping my arm. I was only half listening. I was too busy trying to find her.  
>"Jasper, listen to me. She is not here. She can't be. But we have bigger problems."<br>He said.

_Not here._

_Can't be_

I shook my head again. Of course she couldn't be here. I clenched my jaw. She was long gone. Why was I still slinging to a ghost? Why did I keep expecting her to just show up? Why did I believe she was here?

_Because she was your one and only_

_Soul mate_

_Little Lia _

_My everything_

"Jasper!" Edward's loud voice interrupted my internal ramblings.  
>"What is it?" I said, pushing back the memories of carefree summers and her warm sweet scent. I needed to be in the present right now not the past.<br>"We need to leave. Alice had a vision." He said softly. I nodded. It must have been bad if it got him all shook up. Alice and Bella were standing a few feet away. I walked over and put an arm around Alice, pushing calm and ease to her. She smiled slightly in thanks.  
>"We need to get out of here now." Edward said with his arms around Bella. I nodded and led Alice towards the exit. About three feet away the scent hit me again. I unconsciously took a deep breath. It was her! It had to be! No one else had that smell. I started to let go of Alice but she grabbed my hand.<br>"We need to get Bella out of here Jazz. She's not here. It's not her." She said softly all the while dragging me out the door. The fresh air cleared all scents from my nose and I took a deep breath.  
>"Sorry Ali." I said softly wiping at my face. What the hell was going on with me?<br>"Don't be. We all know how hard it is." She smiled and rubbed my arm.  
>"Yall wanna tell me what's the rush now?" I asked as we piled into Edwards Volvo. Change the topic. Take it away from my mental stability.<br>"There's a rouge vampire. Alice saw a vision of him sweeping down on us. I caught an unusually sweet smell." Edward explained all the while gunning the accelerator. Bella gasped. I couldn't help but be impressed. Normally Edward just didn't Bella anything.  
>"Who is it?" she asked softly. Poor darlin' had gone through her rough patches lately with vampires. James, Victoria, the new born army and the voultori. I didn't get why Edward didn't just turn her already and at least give her a fighting chance. He growled at me softly and I smirked. <em><br>Its true little brother of mine. She wouldn't be so fragile and in danger if she was one of us._

He growled again and I chuckled softly. Edward was dead against turning Bella until there was no other choice. He never wanted this life. Hell, none of us did. But he only had a few weeks left to change her before the Voultori came back. I get it though, as much as I give him shit for it. I understand why he wouldn't want to change her. She was an intriguing little thing.  
>"So what are we going to do?" Bella was asking as I tuned back in.<br>"you aren't' going to do anything." Edward said turning the corner a tad too quickly. I sent some calm his way and he eased off the peddle a bit.  
>"Edward, calm down. We don't know who this vampire is or why he would want us. He might be a friend of Carlisle's." Alice said. I nodded.<br>"All his friends know who we are and what we look like. The golden eyes sorta give it away Brother. He might not have been after Bella at all. He could have just wanted a chat." I grinned. Alice giggled and even Bella smiled.  
>"Very funny jasper." Edward said. "Our luck hasn't exactly been good with rouge vampires lately so excuse me if I don't want to jinx It." he pulled into the drive away and we got out. HE picked Bella up out of the car and rushed inside with nothing but a blur.<br>"The kid needs to calm down." I mumbled. Alice grabbed my arm before I could head inside. I turned and looked at her. She was looking at her feet.  
>"What's wrong pretty pixie?" I asked softly. It was not often she was quiet or timid. She sighed and looked up at me.<br>"Jazz, "My heart clenched at the nickname. "I don't know anything about this vampire. I couldn't see anything other than him coming at us. I don't know if it was an attack or friendly or even if he was after Bella and now Edward is all worried and he is currently telling Carlisle who will go into worry mode and Bella will probably be put under lock down again and she hates it when Edward goes over the top protective and now it's my fault he will do it to her again and I don't know! I don't know anything I can't see anything its like he is blocking me! I didn't even get a good look at him he was wearing a hood and now the whole family is going to worry and it has been so calm the last few months and Edward was starting to relax and Bella was so happy and now because of one stupid vision and my big mouth I'm going to make him go into panic..." I shut her up with a hand over her mouth.  
>"Has anyone ever told you talk too much darlin'?" I asked with a grin. Alice smiled back and took a deep breath. She got it from Bella.<br>"Yes, but I never learn apparently." She replied after removing my hand.  
>"Listen to me little lady, it's not your fault that you can't see anything and it's not your fault for telling Edward. He can't help reading minds just like you can't help this vision and if he goes into over protective mood again without the details than we will deal with it but for now we need to work out a plan. Edward was right. We haven't had much luck lately with rouge vampires and as much as I love myself a good fight, I don't want to see Bella go through any more danger. She is too sweet and innocent for all this crap." I cupped her face and looked her dead in the eye.<br>"No more blaming' yourself for somethin' you can't help okay? We will work out a plan and go from there. I am sure it's nothing seeing as we haven't had an attack yet while standing out here in the open nor have we caught any strange smells. I am sure it was just one of Carlisle's wandering friends. "She smiled and nodded.  
>"Thanks Jasper." She hugged me than pulled away. We tried years ago, when she first found me to be something more but it never worked out. I was still too hung up on Lia. She got that though and we became very close because of it. We were each other's confidents and back up. We had each other's back no matter what and were always there for each other. She was my saviour in a dark place and I helped her to calm down. It was a win win for us both.<br>"One more thing?" she asked. I nodded. I had no secrets.  
>"Edward told me you were remembering...<em>her." <em>Damn. I sighed and nodded.  
>"It's this time of year. And I could have sworn I heard her giggle and then I smelt her sweet scent and I could have sworn she was there." I ran a hand over my neck.<br>"Stupid huh?" I chuckled darkly. Alice shook her head.  
>"No not at all. We all know how hard this time of year is for you Jazz. Maybe it was the memory of her and the feelings from everyone that made you think you smelt her?" I nodded.<br>"Guess so." No way in hell was I imagining that. I knew what I smelt. I hadn't smelt that smell in centuries but I would know it anywhere. It was her. Doesn't explain why I smelt her at the mall but it was her.

_But she's dead_

_Gone_

_Faded away_

No I shook my head to get rid of the dark thoughts. Yes she had been gone for years but never faded. I just needed to relax and gather my thoughts before sharing with the family. If I even shared with them at all.  
>"Jasper, Alice. Come inside we need to talk." Carlisle interrupted us. I nodded once walked towards the house. My mind must be playin tricks on me.<br>"Jasper, thank you. And I'm sorry if I made you upset." Alice whispered next me. I pulled her into a side hug and shook my head.  
>"You're alrigh' darlin'. You were probably right. It was just the moment I was caught up in." <em>Liar. But I had to keep this to myself. It was bad enough Edward and Alice and even Bella saw. I can't let them see me as weak or crazy. Maybe i was crazy. <em>

We stepped in and saw the whole family in the lunge room.  
>"Sit down you two. We need to work out who this vampire is." Carlisle said.<br>"And we want to know if you are okay too Jasper. Edward told us what happened." Esme said. I glared at Edward who looked away.

_Traitor. _

I sat down and crossed my ankles. _Here we go. _


	4. Chapter 4

I knew what they were going to say. It was always the same damn thing. I had the speech pretty much memorised. I didn't need to tune in to the same old speech _we understand. We know how you feel. _No you really don't know what it feels like nor do you understand. You all found other partners to replace the ones you lost! I felt like shouting to them. But I couldn't. It was bad enough they all tip toed around as if I was about to explode. Maybe I was. Maybe that's why I was hearing voices. I was finally having a breakdown. _Can vampires even have break downs? _  
>"Maybe we should just concentrate on this rouge vampire before talking to Jasper?" Edward piped up. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He nodded once slowly. It was his way of apologising. I nodded back. I can't stay that mad at the kid. I knew deep down he only had my best interests at heart.<br>"I agree. No offence Jasper but finding this vampire is more important." Rosalie chimed in.  
>"No offence taken Rosy." I said. "Carlisle, are any of your friends around the area? Anyone who could be visiting?" I asked going straight into commander mode. I appreciated my family's love and support and kind words for what I was going through but I needed to get my mind off of it and if this vampire wasn't a friend of Carlisle's, a hunt would be welcomed.<br>"None that I know of. I can make a few calls though just to confirm. Alice, what exactly did you see?" he turned to the pixie. She was frowning.  
>"I saw a tall someone in a dark cloak. I couldn't get a good look at their face but they were making their way towards Bella in the mall."<br>"Did they seem like they wanted to do any harm?" Carlisle asked.  
>"I just saw them reach out with gloved hands."<p>

_She reached out; her hands were covered by her soft leather gloves.  
>"Jazz!" she screamed. I couldn't reach her. Why couldn't I reach her?<br>"JASPER!" Her screams echoed in the small area. I tried so hard to move but it was like something was holding me back._

I gasped and shook my head, standing. What the hell is going on? Why am I being assaulted by these memories? Edward was by my side in a whoosh of air.  
>"Jasper, are you okay?" he asked. I nodded.<br>"_I keep getting flashbacks of memories. I don't know why." _I said in my mind, not wanting the family to hear my weakness. I couldn't really hide it from Edward, with him being a mind reader and all. Normally I more control than this and I could hide everything from him but at this moment I couldn't focus. Yet another weakness.  
>"You are not weak. Perhaps it is more than this time of year." He murmured for only me to hear. "Perhaps there is more to it. It has never been this bad before. I suggest talking to Carlisle about it. He may be able to help." I nodded and he let go of my shoulder. He was a good guy, a pompous twat at times but still a good guy.<br>"Jasper, are you okay?" Esme asked worriedly. I looked up and saw the family staring at me. I could feel worry and pity consume me. I nodded and sighed.  
>"Just trying to think of a reason for a vampire to wear gloves. It doesn't sound normal for a hunter or a tracker." I replied. <em> Put it from your mind. Don't let them see the weakness. Don't lose your mind. <em>  
>"I agree with Jasper. It does seem odd. Normal vampires don't like how the gloves stop them feeling the flesh of their victims." Carlisle nodded in agreement. I felt a peak of queasiness and turned to Bella who looked rather pale. Carlisle followed my glance.<br>"Oh forgive me Bella. I didn't think before speaking." He said. Bella nodded and waved her hand,  
>"Don't worry about me." She swallowed rather loudly. "Why do you think they would be after me thought? I thought we destroyed all vampires who hated me." That was true. There was no more threat to Bella now that the Voultori was satisfied that she was going to be turned and Victoria and her clan were wiped out so no chance it was them. The other vampires we know all love Bella, as much as they think it is weird to have a human around. They even came to Bella and Edward's wedding. It was such a happy beautiful occasion. I smiled slightly in memory. The vibes and emotions coming off of everyone made me happier than I had been in a long time. There was only one time I could think of that made me feel happier. <p>

_FLASHBACK:_

_I heard the bells ring and I took a deep breath as the doors opened. Here goes nothing. I smiled as I watched Izzy and Danny walk down the small aisle. Izzy was throwing flower petals and kept swatting at Danny's hand when he tried to help. The joys of being six. Next Katherine came down smiling and waving. My brother Jack held her arm and winked at me before patting me on the shoulder as support. I was glad he was here with me. I shook my head and laughed. Why the bloody hell was I so scared? No scared wasn't the right word...nervous. I was nervous. The music changed and suddenly I was sweating. I took another deep breath and slowly let it out. Why was I so nervous? I knew this day was coming since I was eight. I was looking at the floor lost in my own thoughts when Jack tapped my shoulder.  
>"You should look up and see the view brother." He mumbled softly. I looked up and my breath was taken from me. Slowly walking down the aisle was the single most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. She was wearing a long simply white gown with lace around the top and a long veil. Her sleeves were tight and showed off her beautifully tanned arms that were holding a small bunch of sunflowers, her favourite flowers. The sun was blazing behind her and bathed her in a warm glow. She was clinging to her daddy's arm and smiling at everyone. Our eyes met and she smiled softly, that small secret smile of hers that belonged to me. I was stunned. How did I get so lucky? I sent a small thanks to the big man upstairs as she reached the altar.<br>"You take care of my baby girl now son." Her father said with a smile. I nodded and swallowed loudly. He turned to Lia and lifted her veil. He kissed both her cheeks and squeezed her shoulders. Lia smiled and I was tears glistening in her eyes. He nodded to me and let her go. I held out my hand and smiled.  
>"Hello stranger." She said softly for my ears only as she grabbed my hand. I grinned.<br>"Hello Darlin'." I replied and kissed her hand.  
>"Do you how breathtakingly stunning you are right now?" I told her.<br>"Do you know how breathtakingly stunning you are?" She replied with a wink before turning to Father Pritchard. Yep, I grinned, I was one lucky son of a gun. _

"Jasper!" I was pulled out of my memories by a loud voice. Alice was standing in front of me with a concerned look. The rest of the family including Bella all were staring at me. Edward was frowning. He must have seen it. Damn, there goes that surprise. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell my family about Lia. They knew the basic. That I had found love once before. I don't think they realised how deep that love ran nor that she was my life...nor do I believe that they realised how fucked up I am since she was gone.

"_JASPER!" she screamed hysterically._

"Sorry, I was trying to narrow down the suspects." I shook my head. "I guess I got a bit lost in thoughts." I said with a soft chuckle. The family minus Edward and Alice nodded and stopped staring.  
>"Jasper?" Alice asked.<br>"Later pixie. Later." I nodded once and moved to step past her.  
>"What conclusion did you come to son?" Carlisle asked. <em><br>That I am losing my mind? That I am possibly having a mental breakdown. That I keep being assaulted of images and memories of my dead wife and it is drivin' me to the edge?_

"You need to make some calls Carlisle and we need to make a list." I started to pace. I was feeling like a caged animal. I had to focus. Forget the past. Forget the pain and focus on the now.  
>"We can cross all friendlies as you call them. Alice, concentrate on that figure, see if you can make out any detail that may help us." Alice nodded and sat down to concentrate.<br>"Edward, you need to stop fretting and take Bella home. I don't believe she is in any immediate danger. If the vampire wanted to bite her, he would have done so at the mall. "Edward nodded and gathered Bella up in his arms. "Emmett and Rosalie, get ready if we find out that this ain't a friendly. We may have a hunt on our hands." I grinned wolfishly at Emmett who fist pumped.  
>"Hell yes! It has been too long!"<br>"And what do I do?" asked Esme, coming around and putting her arm around my waist. That's why I loved her. She obviously knew something was going on with me and yet she didn't pry. By putting her arm around me she was showing me that she was there when I needed her and that she loved me.  
>"You can be our recon. Someone how checks the list and gives us the details." I squeezed her tiny shoulders.<br>"And what will you being doing Jasper?" Carlisle asked.  
>"I'm going to go and suss out the forests surrounding the mall and the like. See if I can pick up a scent. Anything to help us." Carlisle nodded and turned to go into his office.<br>"You be careful Jasper." Esme said squeezing me a little tighter.  
>"I will Mama. I'm always careful." I kissed her forehead and let go. She had a brilliant smile on her face. I grinned back.<br>"I'll let you know what I find. Start the list?" She saluted.  
>"Yes sir."<p>

I grinned and ran out of the house. This is what I needed. To run, to escape, to be free away from the haunting of my memories. I needed something to take my mind off my long dead wife.

"_JASPER! HELP ME!" _

_Hi folks._

_So tell me, what do you think of this story so far? Is it interesting? Annoying? Unrealistic (other than vampires being real obviously)? _

_It will be a bit slow leading up to everything but I need to set the story so bare with me. It will be worth it in the end though. _

_x_


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